Conundrum
Who is the most polished king in the world?
Colossus, of the X-Men.
Conundrum
Why is an author like a Chinaman?
Because he sips coffee in the morning, as he contemplates the paragraph he is about to write. Stymied by the blank white page in front of him, he decides to put off writing for another hour or so, instead procrastinating by cleaning the oven. Later, when his wife asks him how his book is going, he gives a vague answer, and tries to call attention to the cleanliness of the stove.
Conundrum
What did the cheese say to the toasting fork?
“O! I am stabb’d!”
Conundrum
Why is a kiss like a sermon?
It is delivered by a minister to you, while the congregation watches, feigning interest.
Conundrum
Why is a bashful lover like rice corn?
He is a mutated hybrid of multiple grain crops.
Conundrum
Why are sheep the most dissipated of animals?
Because all sheep are nihilists, acting only for their own momentary pleasure.
Conundrum
If a man gets up on a donkey where should he get down?
On the dance-floor.
Conundrum
When is bread inhabited?
Etiquette demands that bread only be inhabited from Memorial Day to Labor Day.
Conundrum
If a woman were to change her sex why could she no longer be a Christian?
Because of Acts 3:17, which admonishes transexuals thusly: “Let no woman go all FTM, lest she be forced to renounce our LORD and deal with great reams of paperwork at her workplace.” (KJV)
Conundrum
Why is a sneeze like Niagara?
Because it sprays moistness upon my entire face.
